I was surprised when my reader survey last year uncovered so many of you wanted to talk about what happens when marriage gets messy. At first I simply filed it away, claiming it wasn’t really my “niche.”
The truth is I didn’t feel equipped to take on such a tough topic.
I still don’t.
But God kept nudging me, so I’ve teamed up with some ladies who have accrued a lot of wisdom from Him concerning marriage. I’m excited to bring you their stories to help you make your marriage into less of a mess and more of a masterpiece!
Top 10 Reasons Marriage Gets Messy
Together, we polled our readers on Facebook and asked what most made marriage feel messy. Here are the top ten reasons your marriage might get messy.
10. Finances
8. Adultery
6. Complacency
5. Selfishness
and the #1 reason marriage gets messy is because God Isn’t Invited
What We Can Do About It
So, for ten weeks beginning January 8th, we are going to tackle these tough topics here and in a closed Facebook group just for us. Sometimes you’ll read what God is teaching me. Other times I will share powerful testimonies and encouragment from women who have walked through these fires and come out on the other side stronger. My prayer is that this series will equip and encourage you with Bible based wisdom to strengthen your marriage and transform it into the masterpiece God created it to be.
God used the metaphor of marriage to explain His Son’s relationship to the Church. That should tell you how strongly He believes in the institution. And I think it is precisely why the enemy is coming after marriage so hard. If Satan can taint the goodness of marriage, he can cast doubt on our relationship with our Savior, too.
Relationships are tough enough to begin with, but when you put two sinful people under the same roof until death do us part you’ve got to know there’ll be trouble. Yet few of us are prepared or equipped to face those challenges the day we say, “I do.”
Let’s change that and be a generation of women who stand up and say, “No more!” We can link arms and claim the power of God to redeem our own marriages and those of every other couple around the world. Let’s stop fighting against our spouses and start fighting for our marriages.
There is no MESS in marriage God cannot make into a MASTERPIECE.
Will every marriage be restored this side of heaven? Probably not. But that’s not because God can’t or isn’t willing to redeem them. It is an unfortunate side-effect of living in this broken and sinful world.
Caution!!!
Please, please, PLEASE hear me on this. If you or your children feel unsafe or are being abused, leave and find shelter. Immediately. Here are some links for shelter locators:
Christian League for Battered Women
Find Domestic Violence and Abuse Shelters
Women’s Shelters, Transitional Housing
Genesis Women’s Shelter & Support
Beyond the Top 10
Did you notice what didn’t make the top ten list? Children, deployments for the military wives, redeployments, moving, mid-life crisis, sex, illness, past hurts, anything else stressful, that word that makes us all cringe “submission,” and a whole host of other things that make marriage hard.
We’ll be talking about a lot of those things in our Facebook group, as well as why marriage is worth the work and other encouragment. In the group you’ll find a safe place to share your heart, hurts, and hopes for your marriage and receive, wise words, actionable advice, transformational testimony, and powerful prayer.
As if you needed another reason to join the group, I’m gathering some of the resources we’ll reference here to do a giveaway at the end of this series - think of it as a gift to your marriage!
We’ll wrap us this series with a post chock full of resources to make your marriage the Masterpiece God meant it to be!
What would you like to see addressed during this series? What would it take for your marriage to feel like the MASTERPIECE God created it to be?
There is no MESS in marriage God cannot make into a MASTERPIECE. #WhenMarriageGetsMessy Click To Tweet*********
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For more encouragement please join the discussions on these fabulous blog link ups – Suzanne Eller, Thought Provoking Thursday, Susan B. Mead, Faith Filled Friday, Grace and Truth, Faith and Fellowship Friday, Grace and Truth Friday, Good Morning Monday, Soul Survival, Monday Musings, Rah Rah Link Up, Tell His Story, Woman to Woman Wednesday, Women With Intention Wednesday, Sitting Among Friends, Testimony Tuesday, Planting Roots, and Fresh Market Friday.
This looks like it will be a wonderful series, friend. I look forward to reading each week’s posts:) Have a great weekend!
Thanks, friend! Praying God uses it mightily for marriages!
Love you are going to a series that truly is needed in our society today Liz. I’ll be praying it will impact marriages for the better.
Hope you are doing well in your new home.
Thank you, Debbie! I appreciate those prayers. We are getting settled, slowly but surely! Blessings!
Sounds like a great series, Liz. Love that you are doing a Facebook group for support. Praying God’s blessing over you and your efforts as you seek to help marriages become more of a masterpiece!
Thank you, Dianne! I appreciate your prayers and echo them! Blessings!
May God bless you and use you greatly as you tackle a subject much needed but shied away from.
Thank you, Joanne! I pray God is glorified as many seek His hope and help in their marriages! Blessings!
You are a wise woman.
Blessings to you as you wade into a complex area that the enemy longs to control and destroy.
I pray we would all be more vigilant about noticing attacks on our marriages as enemy advances. Blessings!
Liz, just came over from Joanne V’s blog - I saw your comment and thought “I haven’t visited Liz lately.” What a great series you are embarking on. AND the disclaimer? Good so glad you did that.
How sweet of you, Susan! So glad to see you over here today! Thanks for your encouragment! Blessings!
Love this, Liz! Keep on sharing this hope. We need it!
Liz, this sounds like a wonderful series. I know it will help many.
I love this conversation! It’s hard to wrap our heads around the intricacies of marriage, especially in our busy, busy, busy lives. But when we slow down and think about what matters….it’s worth looking at.
Excited for this series!
You’re so right, Becky! Making a wise investment in our marriages is always worth it! I hope you’ll be in prayer for it and all the marriages touched by these words here! Blessings!
Excellent choice of a challenge!…xo
Only God could have persuaded me to tackle this! XO
Liz,
This series looks awesome and as usual you are sharing the thoughts of others. You are the Collaboration Queen 🙂 I think that’s an amazing part of you how you champion others. I really love how you said:
“There is no MESS in marriage God cannot make into a MASTERPIECE.
Will every marriage be restored this side of heaven? Probably not. But that’s not because God can’t or isn’t willing to redeem them. It is an unfortunate side-effect of living in this broken and sinful world.”
As a divorced woman I so agree with this. God CAN turn every mess into a masterpiece, but He allows free will so the miracle only happens when both partners surrender to God at work. I’m eternally grateful to God for allowing me to be in a marriage where both are committed to seeing God work out our lives together into His masterpiece. Keep up the great work girl!
~Sherry Stahl
xoxo
Oh, Sherry! You’re encouragement is so sweet! It’s true, both partners must surrender to God’s plan and His will. And that’s hard work. Marriage is hard work. Thrilled for you to have found a marriage with the commitment required to be a masterpiece! Blessings, friend!
Looks like a great series! You missed “addiction”!!! 🙂 It’s SUPER common- especially in the Christian community and it can affect the marriage whether the wife knows about it or not.
This top ten list was from a reader poll. I’d be thrilled to include a link to your site to support women struggling through the effects of addiction in their marriages. Blessings!
Looks like a great, helpful series! I hope you are able to minister to many women!
I just pray I can stay out of God’s way so He can make marriages over in His design! Blessings!
Great words. Inspiring on the next level. Yes, love how you said He could turn our mess into a masterpiece because it is so accurate and very encouraging.
Thank you for your encouraging words, Marijon! Blessings!
Hi! Liz,
I love this statement, “There is no MESS in marriage God cannot make into a MASTERPIECE.”
We are all a mess, but God makes all things new! He is the only one who can take our brokenness and make it whole. So excited about this series, and the marriages that will be mended through the testimonies of God’s goodness here!
Blessings, Misty
Liz, I love that you feel unqualified, but didn’t tune out God’s call. I know the Lord will bless this work here in this space. I believe it. Our small group just started a marriage series. It’s a topic we can’t be too learned in, can we? We celebrate our 25th anniversary next month, and yet, there’s always room to grow. Look forward to reading along. Thank you, friend. xoxo
Amen, “there is no mess in marriage that God can’t make into a masterpiece.” Absolutely!! Love love love this!
Great Post! Inviting God into our marriage is so pivotal and will truly reduce a lot of heartache. But it is also the most difficult for some. Sharing with our Living Our Priorities community. Stopping by from Salt and Light Link Up.
Thanks, Timberley! I think it’s the hardness of it that makes it the #1 reason marriage gets messy! Thanks for stopping by! Blessings!
Liz, You are a brave soul to tackle marriage. I am praying right now against any attacks that will come your way. It sounds like a wonderful series.
Oh, Maree! Thank you so much. I receive and echo those prayers! There have been attacks, sure, but I know God has by back!