I am thrilled to be joined by my good friend Kristine Brown from More Than Yourself today who wrote a follow up to my post on Overcoming Discouragement from last week. When you are done here, pop over and check out her site. Be sure to subscribe so you won’t miss out on the news of her upcoming book.
Kristine is a writer, dramatist, and teacher. She desires to support women in their spiritual lives with practical teaching for real-life struggles. Kristine devotes her time to her family, freelance writing, and her non-profit ministry, More Than Yourself, Inc. You can read more from Kristine at www.morethanyourself.com.
When We Feel Unnoticed
By: Kristine Brown
I want to raise my son to be a young man after God’s heart. I would do anything, give anything, sacrifice anything to see him walk in God’s ways and seek hard after Jesus. While always striving to be the best mom I can be, I sometimes look at others to decide whether or not I measure up.
That’s when things start to get ugly. My mind wanders to destructive thoughts like these:
Maybe my son doesn’t study as much as so-and-so. Maybe he doesn’t practice as often as you-know-who. And I’ll bet her kid picks up his clothes off the floor and puts away all his toys without being asked.
When someone else’s child seems to be achieving more, it sends me spiraling into the negative pit of comparison once again.
Unfortunately, this pattern spills over into my life as a teacher as well. I want so much to give each of my students equal time, enough praise, and the same rewards. I need every student to feel equally loved so they don’t shoot down that same spiral of self-doubt. Because if one student feels unnoticed, she just may decide to give up altogether.
Haven’t we all been there before – in that frustrated, ready-to-give-up place?
We try day after day to be the one to receive accolades, to finally get the recognition we long for. We measure our worth next to the seemingly flawless life of the next girl. But looking at someone else’s performance in relation to our own can be a dangerous habit.
Hagar knew all about that.
Last week Liz shared some of Hagar’s story with us here. Hagar was tired of her efforts going unnoticed. She was Sarah’s slave, and she submitted to Sarah’s commands as a humble servant should. What did she get for her trouble? A heaping load of mistreatment.
Overwhelmed with living in Sarah’s shadow, Hagar ran away. She’d had all she could take. In her darkest moment of loneliness and despair, God sent an angel to reassure Hagar she was not alone. God was with her. However, look at what the angel says to Hagar in verse 9:
“Then the angel of the Lord told her, ‘Go back to your mistress and submit to her.’” Gen. 16:9 NIV
When giving up appeared to be the only solution, God told her to go back and submit to Sarah. That was her job, her commitment. And even though she wouldn’t receive earthly accolades for her sacrifice or be acknowledged for her work, God gave her an amazing promise in the very next verse.
“The angel added, ‘I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.’” Gen. 16:10
When we focus on living to please God, His perfect plan will follow.
God’s will for us is to keep doing what we know is right, even if it doesn’t seem logical or bring instant gratification. He offers us the promise of abundant blessing as we willingly submit to His plan, just like He did for Hagar.
Are you struggling in this place of comparison? Do you ever feel like giving up because your efforts seem to go unnoticed? I hear you, friend. And more importantly, God hears you. He stepped right into Hagar’s desert land to offer her a remarkable promise, and He is ready to meet us in our desert, too. Let’s turn our focus away from others and direct it toward God today. He is revealing His magnificent plan for us – a life overflowing with hope and purpose.
I’ve compiled a list of precious scriptures that have helped me win the battle over comparison. I’d love to share it with you today. Simply click on the link here to visit my website. When you subscribe, you will receive the free download, 21 Scriptures for Overpowering Comparison.
For more encouragement please join the discussion on these fabulous blog link ups - Suzanne Eller, Thought Provoking Thursday, Susan B. Mead, Faith Filled Friday, Grace and Truth Friday, Still Saturday, Good Morning Monday, Monday Musings, Rah Rah Link Up, Tell His Story, Woman to Woman Wednesday, Women With Intention Wednesday.
Amen and amen. #livefreeThursday
Thank you for visiting, Michelle!
So grateful for these words today. One thing about feeling unnoticed: you sometimes forget to notice that others know how it feels too. A needed wake-up, this morning. Thank you!
Ahhh, so true. And they are likely comparing themselves to our best attributes as well. Great point, Bethany!
Oh Bethany, that is so true! So thankful we have sisters to walk this journey with us. We can lift one another up when the voice of doubt creeps in. God is bigger! Blessings to you:)
Great message, Kristine!
“When we focus on living to please God, His perfect plan will follow.” <— Love this! Such a powerful truth for us to allow our hearts to embrace! Thanks so much for sharing! Peace and many blessing to you, Love! 🙂
My pleasure, Tai! When we let those feelings of loneliness and discouragement take over, it’s hard to see God’s hand in the plan. But when we hold on to His promises - woohoo! It makes all the difference. Thank you for reading!
About 2 years ago my husband lost his job along with a coworker who attends our church, That was such a hard time for me because we watched others in the church give and give to this other family as we went unnoticed. I struggled with that during those months. I’m not sure why God allowed things to happen the way that He did but my husband was always reminding me not to compare ourselves to the other family. It really does steal more joy-many times when you are already running low on having joy.
Anastasia, thank you for sharing this with me. Your story touches my heart and helps me realize how deeply this can affect our lives. I honestly hurt for you when I think about how that must have felt. Your husband is so wise, though. We don’t always know God’s plan or why things happen the way they do, but our strength grows as we learn to trust Him through the most difficult times. You blessed me today!
Amen! God wants us to keep our eyes on Him and not the circumstances around us. It seems that through many stages in life comparison follows us like a shadow. I am praying …keeping my eyes on Jesus and not worrying about what others are doing . Thank you for this thought provoking post. I look forward to reading those 21 scriptures! May God bless you and yours in all your endeavors!
Thank you Horace! You are right, it does follow us like a shadow. It is a daily discipline to keep our focus where it belongs. If we take our eyes off Him, even for a moment, it gives the voice of doubt opportunity to distract us. God is so faithful to be there, even when we feel unnoticed. I appreciate your comment!
Comparison is in our human nature, yet it doesn’t have to be. A beautiful reminder that we need to keep our eyes on God and not on other people. When our eyes are on Him, “His perfect plan will follow.” Really enjoyed reading this Kristine.
Thank you so much, Crystal. And thank you for the sweet comment! I agree with you. I think comparison is something we all deal with at some point in our lives, but we can let it be a lesson on where to direct our focus. Blessings!
Kristine, I love this truth: When we focus on living to please God, His perfect plan will follow. Comparison takes us down the road of discouragement. But keeping our focus on God changes everything. Thank you, Kristine, for sharing your heart at #IntentionalTuesday on Intentionally Pursuing. : )
Always a pleasure, Crystal! I’ve learned so much about comparison and how many of the women in the Bible battled it, just like we do today. Thanks for stopping by, friend!
Oh Kristine, this post really hit home for me. It’s always something, isn’t it? Thank you for this beautiful reminder that even when it seems like no one sees our struggle or pain, God sees. He cares and has a perfect plan for our lives. Tamar’s story is a perfect illustration of this. Hugs to you, friend.