I Said No!

I said no.

And it was indescribably hard.

A dear friend asked if we could dog sit for a few days around New Years. Just about every part of me wanted to jump at the chance to help her, because that’s what she does. She is always generous and helpful and completely dedicated to serving others.

But I wrestled with the decision. For days. Until I realized if they were going to have to make other arrangements, I needed to come up with an answer soon.

Though it seemed like such a small decision, I was conflicted. So I prayed. Nothing fancy.

Lord, what should I do? I know you say to help others, but I just don’t know if this is for me to do or not. Amen.

Saying yes actually seemed like the easier thing to do. Then I wouldn’t have to let her down or force her to continue searching for somebody else to care for their sweet furry family member. But I didn’t have any peace about it.

So, I said no.

And apologized profusely because I felt like I was being selfish and not as loving as I could.

Then, I consoled myself with thoughts of how full my plate already was for the holidays.

I hardly had the time to entertain our own dog, who I worry every time I leave the house will a) escape and terrorize my home with his teeth or b) become injured by the metal he tore apart to become like Houdini.

Mixed emotions about my kids’ long break from school convinced me to plan a fun event for us each day of the break. Many of them required us to be away from home for several hours, adding to my unease about leaving Sheldon. What would I have done with another dog when we left?

And, I’d forgotten I previously agreed to let our neighbor dog out several times a day during that same time period. That would have been a real mess - 3 dogs for 4 days. I can just picture the fur flying.

Any sane person in my situation would likely have said no immediately and not given it a second thought.

But I don’t always fit the sensible category.

I’m a people pleaser (most of the time). Maybe you are, too. We say “Yes,” enthusiastically to any and everything - Extra car-pool duty? A meal for the soup kitchen? Volunteer for the class party? Bring healthy treats for the school staff? Host the company holiday gathering? Distribute gifts to underprivileged families?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and YES!

Always yes.

But this time I said, “No.”

And nothing broke and the world didn’t stop spinning and nobody hated me.

I said no, and you can, too.

Saying yes would likely have increased my already high stress level over Christmas break, diminished my ability to enjoy quality time with my boys, and taken time away from commitments I’d already made.

In her book, The Best Yes, Lysa Terkeurst sums it all up in this one sentence, “While my heart wants to say yes, the reality of my time makes this a no.”

If you have a terminal case of people pleasing like I do, you might want to practice repeating this sentence out loud in your mirror, just for good measure. Then, buy a copy of The Best Yes so you’ll be fully prepared the next time you want to say yes, but shouldn’t.

I hope that you will join me this year in making intentional decisions and remember, it is OK to say no.

Sometimes saying no is the most pleasing answer of all.

Dear Father, thank You for the gift of time. Please guide me to make choices in my life that honor You in all I do. Give me Your wisdom that will help me to know when to say yes and when I’m better off saying no. May all that I do bring glory to Your name. Amen.

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”

Colossians 3:23

For more encouragement please join the discussion on these fabulous blog link ups - Suzanne Eller, Thought Provoking Thursday, Susan B. Mead, Faith Filled Friday, Faith and Fellowship Friday, Grace and Truth Friday, Still Saturday, Good Morning Monday, Soul Survival, Monday Musings, Rah Rah Link Up, Tell His Story, Woman to Woman Wednesday, Women With Intention Wednesday.